Teen Parents Aren't Likely to Get Married

i am a 17-year-old soon-to-be teen mom.
me and the baby's father are still together, in fact we decided to go ahead and get married.
we live in the basement apartment at my parents house and we couldnt be happier.
we have plans for the next several years, including both of us going to college and him joining the air force. i am also going on birth control once the baby is born to prevent a "second rapid pregnancy" or whatever.
i have searched and searched the internet for encouraging words and stories from others who are in our situation, but all i find is negativity and articles saying how it never works out.
its frustrating and its bringing me down.
teen-health, how bout some uplifiting stories from teens who made it? how bout you let me write an article about how great our life is going and how it CAN WORK? or i can talk about my teacher, who had twins in her junior year, got married to the father her senior year, and 23 years later theyre still together and very successful?
i think alot of the problems that arise in teen relationships once a baby is brought into the picture stem from the negative feedback such couples recieve.
please consider some positive articles to let teen couples know that it WILL BE OKAY, and that the best way to bring a baby into the world is to do it TOGETHER. its tough sometimes, but you are each others support system, and the baby will be much happier with a mommy and a daddy who love each other.
-maeghan

I am 32 years old. When I was 17 I became pregnant with our son. His father and I have been together for over 15 years and are now married. I have an undergrad degree in Liberal Studies and work as an autism therapist. I will begin grad school this fall. I won't lie and say that it has been easy but it is possible. Deciding to be a parent means giving your best to your child and nothing less. Good luck to everyone! If I can do it then you all can too.

I was 15 and my boyfriend was 17 when I became pregnant with our first child. We waited until after finishing school to get married and have been happily married for 29 years. It is not easy to raise a child when you are so young but don't let anybody tell you that you are doomed to fail. You have the ability to be the best parent for your child. Stay positive and seek out all the supports that are available to you. Good luck!!

well i am 15 and i might be experinceing my 1st pregnacey an yes i am scared but most of all worried if the dad will stick around and if not how am i ganna have help with the baby and questions are running through my head at like a milloin times per min like what is ganna happen to my childhood is it ganna be hard? will i ever fall in love again if the babys dady leaves me? will i still be accepted by most ppl?

I am seventeen years old and I am 5 months pregnant. The baby's father and I are now happily married and are honestly happy together. He has been there from the beginning and has been amazing.
....Heather

hi i am 18 years old and i am a single mom it is hard but its OK because i have my son pushing me on i am on my senior year of high school i was going to drop out but my son gave me the courage to continue and get my high school diploma unlike other teen moms i planed my son and i would not go back and undo it for any thing in the world

i am 17 years old, and I'm a soon to be mom. i competely agree with what the other teen mothers are saying. haven't you ever noticed that all you ever hear is negativity coming from the government or feminists? Or how about older more wealthy expirienced mother? well i for one am sick of all their critisism, its not called for or welcomed. im tired of people looking down on me like im a peice of trash that doesnt belong in todays society, becasue yes we do. me and my fiance plan on getting married in november after we move to Daytona florida in april. they is nothing wrong with teen mothers, we are human too we all make mistakes but for me, my pregnancy is no mistake and my fiance has vowed to stay by my side. he love me and my unborn child.

Hi I am 17 N 5 months pregnant ...of a boy... Also a single mom I was with my ex for two years ... When I told him about my pregnancy he left... For ever .. Now he has another girlfriend I wish him the best .. But is hard .. N am just looking for positive stories from single teen moms to get some inspiration .. Am a 11 grader but the good thing is that my mom supports me untill I finish high school .. Then is all up to me.. I am just wishing for the best ......
- :(

I am the teen mother of an 11 week old baby girl. Me and her father broke up before I found out I was pregnant. When I told him he was mad and didn't want me to have the baby but eventually he came around. When I was in labor and finally gave birth he was so excited and did so well for a while but then he started acting like he didn't have a child. Its hard but I am doin it I graduated from high school 5 months earlier than my class and I am attendin a local college in the fall. All I have to say to single teen mom's is you can't make me him be a daddy. Also when u feel like givin up think about ur child becuz its hard to make it in the world now without a dipoloma and a degree so make a great life for u and ur child.

I am 18, I had my daughter last year when I was 17. Me and her dad got married 3 months before she was born, and moved out of his parents house three months after she was born. We have been living on our own for a while now, and I am a stay at home mom by choice taking online classes to be an online professor. My husband is attending firefighting school and is working 66 hours a week. We are doing wonderful, I think every mom no matter what age has the ability to give their kids lives opposite of the statistics, but it is their choice. Don't let your kids grow up in poverty, beat the odds, and we can change these statistics.

omg@!! these storys are amazing!!!

good

Wow These Stories Really Got Too Me...

i think that it is very good because it is true. i had my first daughter when i was 17 got married when i was two weeks from being 19 had my second daughter when i was 2 months from being 20 and now im 21 and filing for divorce at the end of the month. this is a true article. oh yeah, i am a single mother and have been since i got pregnant with my second daughter. i had live in support i guess you say but he didnt work or help me with the girls. i did everything alone. he has been in jail since september and been a real single mother since

hi there should be more articles on teen parents that had made something of themselves. it would be very helpful for those who are going through teen parenting. I am 19 years old and i had my daughter when i was 16. i am a CNA and im going to college right now to be a RN. me and my daughters dad have stayed together, but we decided to wait on the marriage. We both work, have our own place, and our own cars each. i have had a lot of people try to bring me down for having a child at a young age, but shes my lilttle angel and i know everything is going to be okay when i look at her. I hope all the teen parents or soon to be parents dont get discourage from all the bad things people might say. just rember to do everything you can for you and your child. :) - gloria

I got pregnant with my first child when I was 18. The father left after I refused to have an abortion. So for my son's first 3 years, i was in an on again off again relationship, when I got pregnant again. And again, shortly after my daughter was born, that guy left me too. So, as a single mother of 2, I decided to go back to school. I became a certified Dental Assistant, all on my own. And then, a miracle happened. One day, while scanning through some friends Myspace pages, I came across an old aquaintence from high school. We began talking via email, and then a month later, had our first date. We got married a year and half later, and are just finishing up the adoption process for OUR kids :) I'm happier than ever, and as someone who truely believed this would not happen for me, I'm so grateful I did right by me and my kids, and found an amazing guy. Keep your heads up ladies! There is hope!

I was 14 when I meant the father of my son. I am now 18 and have been married for two years to the man who fathered my son. We don't have anymore children or plan on having any for a few more years. I got my GED this year after being in a program for no more then 12 hours. I'm a smart girl. My son was planed. He was never a mistake. My husband and I talked about what we would do and how we would handle it before we began to try. We bought a house this past December and moved in Christmas eve. We both have a car that is paid completely off and newer then 2004. We have a checking account and our bills are paid on time some times before they are due. We have never got any government help and my son was born healthy and happy on Thanksgiving 2008. I am a stay at home mother and have never had to put my son in any day care. My husband has said it is fine if I want to get a job but I will never HAVE to get one if I don't want to. Sometimes against all odds people can make it. Teens can do it. Your age has nothing to do with how your life turns out. The choices you make and the things you do determine the life you will lead. I have see 40 year old mothers worse off then I am. ..Oh and BTW How about you show the divorce rates for other people and then the re-marriage rates of those same groups? How about their education level too?

I feel like the 17 year olds who are pregnant or do have kids need to realize this is just satistics. Also u dont know how hard it is to have a baby unless it is already here! Also the people who have been married for 23 years + need to realize that, that was a completly different time! today teenages get pregnant for the wrong reasons they want the dad to stay and becasuse they feel alone! And if u are thinking of becomeing pregnant, hink u have so much to do and see still! live it up be immature while you can!! Get a head on ur shoulders before you bring a life in to your! Same goes for couples Its not fair to Bring a child in an unhealthy relationship! If you havent been together for a long time and break up everyother day and cheat on eachother, A BIG THING IS TRUST!!! IF U DONT TRUST EACHOTHER DONT HAVE CHILDREN TOGETHER!!.Also to the people who did have children at a young age and are saying its okay, how would u feel if ur 17 year old came home pregnant? Think about what you are saying. you are encourageing these young children to have children and telling then it will work when u dont know that. Having a baby is not easy but any means, and most people dont even know who they are before they are outta high school and/ or collage! Sure i thought i was in love when i was in high school, but then when it came down to not partying and only thinking about who getting the beer this weekend and wheres the party it becomes REAL! You need to know if the person u love can provide for you as an adult, because lets face it some people never grow up! You need to be able to see them have a career not a job at burger king, how they spend their money when they live on their own not in thier parents house! My personal feeling on teen pregnantcy is i'm scared for my child to go to school w/ all these children of teen parent, who have no morals or wisdom themselves, how are they supposed to treat their children morals when their children are at home w/ the grandparents when the teen agers are partying?? But hey lets face it i'm 23 and i have a 10 month year old, and my husband n i will be the old parents in the classroom! Its just sad! i am not saying all teen parents are like this, but based on satisticts, most are! and most i've ment are also! All i'm saying is its not fair to the children or the children having children! ( or the grandparents who are done rasing their children who have to support and raise another child!) And to the tax payers who have to support you and ur children for the rest of your life while ur on welfare!! All i'm saying is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE think about what you are doing!!!! its not just your life... its that babies to!

I am 19 and I have a 10 month old son. I was not the party type, I was a good girl. I believe full heartedly to wait until I was married to have sex but when I was 17 I got a boyfriend that I truly loved. One year later I got to caught up and had sex. My first time I became pregnant. I eventually married the father when my son was 5 months old. I was pregnant my senior y of highschool. I attended a pivate christian school they almost did NOT let me graduate because of the pregnancy. My family looked down on me. My friends even stopped hanging out with me. My husband was 19 at the time he is now 21 and thank God for him!!!! He has loved me through it supports me fully emotionally, financially. I have aleady completed one yr of college( I had finals 2 days after havong my baby). I was bed idden the last month of my pregnancy. Needless to say it has been very very very difficult. I love my husband vey much but a great deal comes with a baby. Thank God he has a great job because we have no family support. To the last comment that was made I have to say I was deeply offended. People like you basically told me if I didnt want my whole life to be a failure I should get an abortion. Who do you think you are to say people who have babies as teens have no morals and you dont want your child around them. Dont you think thats a stereotype. Dont you forget your only 23 wow you must really have it all together. People make mistakes thats why thee is forgivness. Im not saying its easy because its not its hard as hell btu these girls come here tellin there stories getting a little damn support for their hard times and you gotta be like everyone else and look down on them/us. Notice every freakin story either was expecting or had a baby why dont you just kick them when there down.Ever heard of constructive critism.

this helped me a whole lot with my persasive english paper!!! thank you

I'm a teen dad I really wished me nd my exgf could have stayed together I'm 19 nd I was willing to do anything for her and my child but her freinds and parents kept telling her to leave me and she did I just wished we could of worked out and my daughter how I love her and iwill never leave her

All, I'm a 44 year old woman finishing up a grant proposal for a live-in facility for teenaged pregnant girls and services for the dad to come into the facility to get help and that's how I ran across this site. The bottom line, I think regardless if a mother or father stays together, the child's life will be greatly enhanced if both mother and father help raise that child. You don't have to live under the same roof to give your child/children the same love and security they need and deserve. That young man who is not being able to see his child is being treated unfairly and I'm so sad for him.
I've been married for 23 years to my high school sweetheart and we waited until after marriage to consummate or union. We have three children two boys and one girl and they grew up in a house that shared the same morals and values I was taught, but my daughter, at age seventeen became pregnant. I never thought that would happen in my world, but I realize the different stressors and influences you young ones have these days that I didn't. I fussed at her all of thirty minutes, because I offered her birth control, and then I had to let it go. Her sin was premarital sex, but her carrying my grandchild was no sin. God is the creator of life and that is the beginning and ending of it all.
My daughter is a dynamic young woman and I told her from the start that she had better not let anyone make her feel less than they are, because all have sinned, the only difference pregnancy is the only physical representation of that sin when you are not married and become pregnant. She took what I said to heart, and wobbled up to get her award for academic excellence in her 7th month, and she had her head down, but she must have been able to feel my glare because she lifted her head and wobbled down the aisle to her success.
She is now finishing cosmetology school and will begin her business degree soon after. She is a really good mom and have never been on public assistance. Does she cry sometimes because it's hard being a mommy, yes she does, do I cry sometimes for her lost freedom, yes I do, but there are far more laughs and giggles and celebrations over our two year old trouble maker. :)
Young ladies, I'm on a tight deadline with this grant, but you all mean much more than any deadline. Please please please, plan your pregnancies and don't do it until you're sure you're ready to be a mommy. If you're pregnant now or for the 15 year old that thinks you're pregnant, do the best for yourselves and take care of your bodies while you're carrying your gift. After your babies are born if you decide to put them up for adoption then I'll pray for your comfort that you've done the right thing. If you're keeping your child then don't forget the thing a child needs MOST is love and affection. Yes, you will have to feed them and clothe them, but love them really hard, and love yourselves as well. Don't be a statistic and let your child become who society say they may become because they were born to you. Print out the young ladies post that said she's afraid for your children to go to school with hers because of what statistics say, and hang it on your wall so everytime you think about not giving 100% or being to tired to care for your child, you'll have the fuel to carry on.
My grandchild is brilliant and she was removed from her two year old class into the three year old class because she knew all of her alphabets, and could identify more numbers then her teacher could teach her classmates. She's speaking a little spanish and uses really long sentences and have above average reasoning skills. HER MOM WAS 17 AND DAD WAS 16 WHEN SHE CAME HERE. Put in the time and raise your babies and God will help you all do the rest.
Oh, and like I told my daughter, no man/boy is worth putting your health and life at risk. OBSTAIN OR USE PROTECTION!
Big hugs to all.

This article speaks the truth for the AVERAGE teen mother. I have been doing a story for my schools newspaper and I can't tell how many times I have interviewed a single teen mother. Its almost as the dads disappear off the face of the earth. I didn't think that this happened because my mom was a teen mother, however my dad has stuck around for 23 years now. Even after five kids. Unfortunately, this doesn't speak for the average man. Our generation of boys are becoming less responsible as time progress. They're afraid to grow up. This may explain why my sister marriage plans went down the drain shortly after the birth of my nephew. Suddenly, he was "bored" with her. My nephew is now four, and his father refuses to pay child support but will rush to claim him on his income tax. As for those of you down there, I hate to say it but you were just lucky. You had a REAL man. And for those who are scared, keep your head up. With faith in god and determination, you will make it. Nothing is impossible:)

17 year old soon to be teen mom. i get your point, but you say alot that contradicts yourself. firstly, birth control does NOT always work. Look it up. You say that your supposed to be each others support system yet you stay at your parents basement? OH, not to mention you BOTH plan on going to school? well, let me guess, your parents will take care of the baby? these articles are only showing you the consequences of your actions. Don't get mad at the truth, accept it. Be a grown-up about it. Face your consequences. You'll have the toughest time when you move out. Bills don't pay themselves, and neither does electricity, but now that you are in the confort of your parents basement (as confortable as a basement can be.) enjoy it. It won't last.

just to put it out there, im 14 years old. my mother had be when she was 12 years old. my father was 21 and they had known eachother sense my mother was 2. they got married when she was 16 years old and are happily married still. its been a hard life for them but my mother and father graduated from high school, my dad took care of me while working and my mother went to college. she is STNA and working to be a RN. 3 years ago this april my mom had my little brother. i WAS NOT a mistake, i was planned. at the age of 13 i met by boyfriend. weve been together 7 months and hes my best friend. ive had other bfs but none like him. we are currently disscusing the possibility of having a baby. not right now, but soon. we would like to over 6 at least so we have less scool and more work. making our baby's life the best possible. thats all you can ask for at a young age. but being children of teen moms weve been threw it and we both enjoyed our lives. im home schooled, straight A student. i wanna get my degree in cosmotology which i start when im 16 and he wants to be a gaming engineer. i forogt to mention we got engaged a while ago. we know were young but were in this for the long run. keep your head up and dont let negative things hurt you. having a nbaby and starting your family young is nothing to be ashamed about. its your life, itll go as planned.
--Paigeego

OK HOW ABOUT REALITY? Im a teen father who stayed with my woman I hate being a teen father it sucks its no fun BUT its gotta be done. REALITY isint full of success stories and isint ful of ONLY bad ones either but the fact is that here in the united states statistics( aka REALITY) frowns upon us teen parents and although its not impossible without parental help it is EXTREMELY difficult to move ahead and if you dont realize that then you havent A. matured enough or B.been exposed to the real hazards of low income (C. is for some miracle of god u have a good paying job) Living on your own is nothing like living at your parents SO GROW UP

Well I got pregnant when i was 17, had my son @ 18, im a single parent... in some cases like mine i had to make a very big decision, whether or not to stay with his father, i became pregnant 2 months into the "relationship" but i knew him for 1 yr before the relationship. He is 22, and still acted very childish and expected to come first before my health and my sons. And i thought i had to stick with him bcuz of the baby, but my father was by my side and kept giving me advice that was very useful. he said "you can do it on your own, you will meet someone who will want to take care of u and your son and be the role model of a man to yur baby, you have us and we wont let you or Jaylen go with out" I thought we could work things out, but in the i was the one gettin stressed out and constantly worrying about things, so finally i made the decision to leave him @ 5 months, and now my son is almost 6 months, his father has called less than 15 times (most of these times he has called he doesnt ask how his son is doin he questions me and is convinced im with someone else, i dont give him the time in the day to sit there and question me about false information i simply say believe what u want, i have to go.) and seen him less than 10, only bought him 2 stuffed animals and a pacifier..for christmas. I no longer ask him to come see him or call, but i did make him pick days to visit and since he coudlnt do that because there was 101 excuses why he coudlnt i told him he was no longer going to be able to come 2 see him unless he has a schedule that he can give me...and i kno he wont jus come once in a blue moon....soo as for the negativiyy i dont agree, but i kno alot of guys out there can step up and be a father to their child i jus wasnt as fortunate as some, but iam to have such a supporting family!

in 2008,I was 18 when I met my now Husband. We got pregnant 1 month into our relationship... 1 month! When we found out, our first reaction and response, was to not have it. I couldn't bring myself to make the appointment, & Decided to keep the baby.. He had decided he wanted to leave town.. I begged him not to go. & the night before he had planned to leave, he decided he was going to stay. Where I was living at the time i found out I was pregnant, Told me we couldnt stay there if we decided to keep the baby, We had no where to go.. We literally had to sleep in our vehicle for 2 nights.. We got ahold of one of my family members who agree'd to let us stay there. 2 months later, we got into our own apartment! 5 months later.. We had our baby girl! 1 month after we had her, we decided to get Married. ( this is 1 year into our relationship) Around our daughters 1st Birthday, we found out we were expecting.. this time, planned. Now, 2011. We have 2 beautiful daughters, and we are coming up our 2nd wedding anniversary next week & 3 years of being together. My husband is the most hardworking man I know. We are in the process of purchasing Our First Home! But please dont think we havent had our fights, dissagreements, bumping heads, etc. A relationship takes WORK. children take WORK, and LOVE and TIME. Dont think you can just jump into it & everything be peachy! We have had our hard times, and still do! Without being placed in the Church we have been placed in, with the friends & family we have. & Most importantly, without what the Lord Jesus Christ did for us, I doubt we would have made it this far! Actually, i know we wouldnt have made it! Keep your head up Girls. & Just Trust God! If God can take us, from literally living on the streets to where we are now he can help you!!

14 and pregnaunt, in 7th grade

hi. i am 18 almost 19 years old. i have a 15 month old son and i am still with my sons father. we have never been happier. our son is out light and joy and is what pushes us to do better in our lives. without him, i dont know what we would do...im not going to say its easy, though, because it isnt. i go to college full time and work and the father works full time and is about to start night school...were are also about to get our first place (weve been living with his parents until we could get on our feet) having a baby requires a lot of support, love, and hard work,, but if you just take it one day at a time, life gets a lot simplier and destressed. being stressed puts strain on a relationship and is a major deciding factor on if the parents stay together or not

Thank you l am teaching Health for the first time in years. I needed to have these facts.

im 15 and i have a 2 month old son. me and the father broke up before i found out i was pregnant. its hard at times but its all worth it and youll never love anything more no matter how old u are.

I am 19 years old, have an 19 month old son and I'm still with the father. We don't have any immediate plans to get married yet because I have so many benefits to being a "legally single" mother, like Pell Grants for college, any type of government help we may need. and fyi-we don't WANT to be on government assistance, but right now we can't afford not to be, and when I graduate college I'll be able to go back to work and we'll be living off of our own money. But anyways, we've been together three years, and I know that's not a lot but we've lived together 2 and a half years, and 1 and a half of those has been with a kid. Last year (the first year having a child) was the hardest I've ever had to go through with fighting with him, finding out some secrets within both of our families, moving, deaths in the family, losing my job, and trying to be a good mom and housewife through everything, I think we can make it at least another twenty years. Sure, I know a LOT can happen in that amount of time, but love is working through all the hard stuff because you love each other. We do want to get married, but we don't have the money to.